Turned
- Visite al profilo: 333
- Data creazione: September 2007
- www.bebo.com/-turned-
- Categoria:
- Horror
- Messaggio personale
- not everyone survives the horror story
- Tutto su di me
- I wrote this short story on ninthteeth of October.
It's a short story so i can't really tell u much, all i can say is dat deres vampires n werewolves in it. Tis short story ties in2 my other story 'Footsteps' Read it!!!
Plz do my polls, n b honest!!!
Plz tell me wot u tink of it. Thanx
PLZ leave a review, i want 2 no wot u tink of it
If u like my story, PLZ become a fan.
chiudi Recensioni
chiudi Sondaggi
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- Brilliant
- All Right
- Cud be Better
- Crap
- Da Worst Shit I've Ever Read
chiudi Commenti
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The HeavenField38 settimane faHello!
I would be grateful if you would take a look at my novel:
http://www.bebo.com/heavenfield
Or listen to it for free at:
http://www.theheavenfield.com -
Kyle S86 settimane fawrite some more those are like 2 chapters
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Daz Lemon Fresh109 settimane faHey, PLZ read my other short story Footsteps, which ties in2 Turned
http://www.bebo.com/-footsteps-
http://www.bebo.com/-footsteps-
what?????????????????? why did you stop it like that i was starting to likr it write more pleas?????????????????????????????
:
di Yuuki Sama 42 settimane fa??????????????????????????????????
????
hehehehe poor dude is having a bad day, huh?
di Ana Jak 55 settimane facool wow tht is relli good, ilike how its connected to the 1st story at the end
di Ellen Docherty-Fitzgerald 68 settimane faI like it but... The basic structure and plot is a bit overdone but you do spin a good tale. Bit heavy on the personal pro-nouns as well. If you remove a few and make the shorter sentences into complex ones it'll be grand. Kudos
di Arakhe Khan 75 settimane fabrilliant !!! in those few chapters i'm hooked, please write more 10/10
di Tomm H 92 settimane faExcellent idea, just work on your narrative. I've re-written a chapter to show you what I mean I don't normally do this but I think you've got talent
di Kerry 93 settimane faTwo huge black jeeps screech to a halt outside, five people are already jumping out even as they stop. Armed with machine guns and dressed entirely in black their faces obscured by breathing apparatus. Even as they run the door explodes inwards. Blood curdling screams come from downstairs. Gunshots echo. Wet thumps make me think of dead bodies hitting bare floorboards.
Sheer terror had left me rooted to the spot, now that the masked assailants are jumping back into the jeeps and leaving I finally find myself and run at the door, with ear pressed against it I strain to hear something. Ticking? For a second I am confused then in realisation I run at the window and bang and bang, futile in my attempts to attract the attentions of those below.
In a cacophony of sound I am catapulted out of the window glass gouging my face. The ground speeds to meet my body and I hear a sickening thud as I hit cold hard concrete.
It was GREAT! I enjoyed it but I have to criticise...
di LUcy. 101 settimane faI thought bits of it were very similar to your last Short Story 'Footsteps'.
But other than that I thought it was AWESOME!
Pweesh write more!
TONKS
OMG! um...............................w
di Adele H 104 settimane faell its relly good and U HAVE GOT 2 RITE THBE 2ND CHAPTER SOON!